Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The war in Iraq
Why fight a war when we can keep all of our enemies out with a giant wall? When you have a big enough wall, nothing outside that wall matters unless its within conquering distance. In that case I say we work our way towards Iraq. We can start with the Atlantic Ocean then Europe and move forward in this fashion.
Illegal Immigration
Illegal immigration is a wonderful thing. It is one step closer to achieving the feudalist society that we all dream of. Illegal immigrants are an easy source of serfs. At the same time though, I do support the anti-illegal immigration idea of building a wall to keep all of them out. When it comes down to it we can always find a new way to get serfs without using illegal immigrants. If we need to build a wall to keep them out thats fine as long as those damn vikings and the plague stay outside the wall as well.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Abortion
We believe that it is the right of all land owners to control the population of his land as he sees fit. If the land owner feels for any reason that a child will be a burden then he may terminate it at any time during or after the pregnancy.
Johannes Gutenberg had help
When Johannes Gutenberg was inventing his unholy creation the printing press he used the help of Hitler, Dracula, and the Devil.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The "Dark ages"
We as Feudalists find the term "The Dark ages" to be highly offensive. The term is meant to define the time period that existed ruffly between 476 and 1000 AD to . This time period was a magnificently feudalistic time period and should not be called something as horrible as "The Dark Ages". If you would like to refer to it as something you may call it the Early Middle Ages, The Age of Awesome or The True Golden Age. The term "Dark ages" was coined by an Italian scholar named Francesco Petrarch who was an evil man who ate live children.
A Formal Statement of Our Views
We, the members of the Feudalist League of America, in order to form a more perfect union, do establish there key political viewpoints to our strategy:
-Right of the First Night.
As our most important law, the Right of The First Night establishes a secure future for our Kingdom. Any marriages which occur must be reported to the King under penalty of public mutilation. On the first night of the new couple's relationship, the wife shall be handed to any local governmental figures (such as the King) and they will be free to do anything to/with her that they so please.
-The Safety of The People.
Our party is the only political party with a solution to both the Vikings and the Black Plague. In order to keep out the forces of darkness, and promote the safety and longevity of our people, we propose building big walls and potentially some moats around us. It is a known fact that Walls are the mortal enemies of Vikings, and that the Plague can only enter through the air, which will be blocked off by the walls.
-The Economy.
Every person in this great Kingdom deserves the right to work, even if they don't want to. Our economic plans guarantee a job for every member of the household, including children. We also promote equality in the workplace. Each and every worker will be able to harvest the same amount of wheat and slaughter the same amount of pigs for our aristocracy. Poverty will be driven out by setting all but a select few at the same economic status of serf, and everyone will have access to a thatched-roof hut for housing, thus eliminating the issues of unemployment and the homeless.
-The Government.
Today's governments are way too corrupt to benefit the members of our society. We propose eliminating this corruption by establishing one firm ruler to keep control. Our King will be able to designate select powers to Lords, who will deal more with the people, yet all decisions will ultimately rest with him. This for of government is time-tested, and has lead to success of everyone from Rome to England.
-Election of Leaders and term limits.
The Mandate of Heaven states that our rulers are chosen by the divine, and thus, are best suited for lifelong terms in their role.
-Domestic Policy.
All things economic, governmental, and militarial are meant for the benefit of the Kingdom. The individual must sacrifice certain needs and wants to guarantee the health and longevity of our government. It is the government's duty to protect the people by building walls to keep out the Vikings.
-Foreign Policy.
All those outside of our Kingdom are savages who must be civilized by our aggressive force. Foreign lands are ours for the taking, and it is our right, no, our duty to ensure total victory over these heretics. Our borders will be defined by large walls, which shall be built around our ever-growing empire. These far-off lands are strange, and filled with the Black Plague. We must conquer them in order to increase the stronghold of our political ideals. You may never see them, as if you venture out of the walls, the beasts of hell will unleash the Black Plague upon you and your family, but these lands are certainly there.
-Freedom of Speech.
All citizens are able to speak their mind to any degree, as long as it is not in defiance of the King, or his intentions.
-Citizenship.
Any adult white-males who own massive sects of land and are descended from Aristocracy are granted citizenship, and thus, the rights associated with citizenship.
-Gun Control.
Guns are for people who are evil. True fact, the Vikings use them. These guns shoot the Plague at unsuspecting serfs. Real men use longswords.
-Trail by Jury.
All peoples within the Kingdom are granted the right to a trial by a jury comprised of the King and the Archbishop. If serfs cannot afford a lawyer from the aristocracy, they will be put to death. All people are innocent until they are accused of a crime.
-Punishment for crimes.
Any person convicted of a minor offense shall be locked away in the dungeon and receive a daily torture session on the rack. Any person convicted of treason, including but not limited to: inciting rebellion, speaking out against the King, or venturing outside of the walls will be put to death via axe decapitation. Any parties found guilty of trying to establish the unholy scourge known as The Renaissance will be excommunicated and disemboweled in front of a crowd of angry serfs with rotten vegetables.
-The Vikings:
They will steal all your four possessions, burn down your hut, and rape your wife if you aren't careful, therefore, walls need to be built. As established earlier, Vikings and walls hate each other. To identify if someone is a Viking is a simple as identifying a witch. If you suspect mischief having been caused in your area, your neighbor is likely a Viking, and must be put to death. Be careful though, as Vikings are known to use Guns and Heavy Metal music against their adversaries.
-The Black Plague.
It will kill you. All of you! Don't you dare step outside of the city walls!
-Destruction of the Magna Carta.
This document nearly destroyed our intentions during the last election, and thus, must be destroyed. Shared power means corruption and corruption summons The Black Plague.
-Notice of flexibility.
Our intentions can, and possibly will change at any moment. You never know when the Vikings and The Plague could team up with Enlightenment Thinkers and try to bring about The Renaissance (which is translated as "apocalyptic meteor crash"). Even now, Johannes Gutenberg and his "printing press" (or should I say Satan!) are amassing an army of great evils to unleash upon our safe and morally just Kingdom. Should we ever need to add archer's towers to our walls to stop these beasts, the flexibility is there.
Written in the year of our Lord: 2008 by The Feudalist League of America
-Right of the First Night.
As our most important law, the Right of The First Night establishes a secure future for our Kingdom. Any marriages which occur must be reported to the King under penalty of public mutilation. On the first night of the new couple's relationship, the wife shall be handed to any local governmental figures (such as the King) and they will be free to do anything to/with her that they so please.
-The Safety of The People.
Our party is the only political party with a solution to both the Vikings and the Black Plague. In order to keep out the forces of darkness, and promote the safety and longevity of our people, we propose building big walls and potentially some moats around us. It is a known fact that Walls are the mortal enemies of Vikings, and that the Plague can only enter through the air, which will be blocked off by the walls.
-The Economy.
Every person in this great Kingdom deserves the right to work, even if they don't want to. Our economic plans guarantee a job for every member of the household, including children. We also promote equality in the workplace. Each and every worker will be able to harvest the same amount of wheat and slaughter the same amount of pigs for our aristocracy. Poverty will be driven out by setting all but a select few at the same economic status of serf, and everyone will have access to a thatched-roof hut for housing, thus eliminating the issues of unemployment and the homeless.
-The Government.
Today's governments are way too corrupt to benefit the members of our society. We propose eliminating this corruption by establishing one firm ruler to keep control. Our King will be able to designate select powers to Lords, who will deal more with the people, yet all decisions will ultimately rest with him. This for of government is time-tested, and has lead to success of everyone from Rome to England.
-Election of Leaders and term limits.
The Mandate of Heaven states that our rulers are chosen by the divine, and thus, are best suited for lifelong terms in their role.
-Domestic Policy.
All things economic, governmental, and militarial are meant for the benefit of the Kingdom. The individual must sacrifice certain needs and wants to guarantee the health and longevity of our government. It is the government's duty to protect the people by building walls to keep out the Vikings.
-Foreign Policy.
All those outside of our Kingdom are savages who must be civilized by our aggressive force. Foreign lands are ours for the taking, and it is our right, no, our duty to ensure total victory over these heretics. Our borders will be defined by large walls, which shall be built around our ever-growing empire. These far-off lands are strange, and filled with the Black Plague. We must conquer them in order to increase the stronghold of our political ideals. You may never see them, as if you venture out of the walls, the beasts of hell will unleash the Black Plague upon you and your family, but these lands are certainly there.
-Freedom of Speech.
All citizens are able to speak their mind to any degree, as long as it is not in defiance of the King, or his intentions.
-Citizenship.
Any adult white-males who own massive sects of land and are descended from Aristocracy are granted citizenship, and thus, the rights associated with citizenship.
-Gun Control.
Guns are for people who are evil. True fact, the Vikings use them. These guns shoot the Plague at unsuspecting serfs. Real men use longswords.
-Trail by Jury.
All peoples within the Kingdom are granted the right to a trial by a jury comprised of the King and the Archbishop. If serfs cannot afford a lawyer from the aristocracy, they will be put to death. All people are innocent until they are accused of a crime.
-Punishment for crimes.
Any person convicted of a minor offense shall be locked away in the dungeon and receive a daily torture session on the rack. Any person convicted of treason, including but not limited to: inciting rebellion, speaking out against the King, or venturing outside of the walls will be put to death via axe decapitation. Any parties found guilty of trying to establish the unholy scourge known as The Renaissance will be excommunicated and disemboweled in front of a crowd of angry serfs with rotten vegetables.
-The Vikings:
They will steal all your four possessions, burn down your hut, and rape your wife if you aren't careful, therefore, walls need to be built. As established earlier, Vikings and walls hate each other. To identify if someone is a Viking is a simple as identifying a witch. If you suspect mischief having been caused in your area, your neighbor is likely a Viking, and must be put to death. Be careful though, as Vikings are known to use Guns and Heavy Metal music against their adversaries.
-The Black Plague.
It will kill you. All of you! Don't you dare step outside of the city walls!
-Destruction of the Magna Carta.
This document nearly destroyed our intentions during the last election, and thus, must be destroyed. Shared power means corruption and corruption summons The Black Plague.
-Notice of flexibility.
Our intentions can, and possibly will change at any moment. You never know when the Vikings and The Plague could team up with Enlightenment Thinkers and try to bring about The Renaissance (which is translated as "apocalyptic meteor crash"). Even now, Johannes Gutenberg and his "printing press" (or should I say Satan!) are amassing an army of great evils to unleash upon our safe and morally just Kingdom. Should we ever need to add archer's towers to our walls to stop these beasts, the flexibility is there.
Written in the year of our Lord: 2008 by The Feudalist League of America
Bonic our new mascot
All political parties need some kind of animal to represent them. The republicans have the elephant, democrats have the donkey, and the communists have the worker. So as Feudalists we need something that represents us as well, thats why we have picked Yersinia pestis. Though technically part of the "Monera Kingdom" Yersinia pestis is a living organism, more often refered to as the Bubonic or Black Plague. Why Yersinia pestis you might ask? Well because the Plague was something that helped Feudalism last during the middle ages. So that should be good enough for all of you.
The printing press is evil
Fact Johannes Gutenberg inventor of the printing press was an evil man bent on destroying the feudalist system. By creating the printing press he created a way for surfs to learn information about things. Reading and learning is something that only the higher classes should be able to do. The printing press is the main reason that we today don't live safely behind castle walls protected from the plague and viking attacks. So i say all forms of the printing press should be banned to prevent the peasants from learning and rebelling.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Build a wall
A wall surrounding the people is the only way to ensure protection from threatening pillagers. It is a fact that vikings can destroy and pillage anything except when a large wall is involved. Their swords and arrows break when they try to attack it so they cannot harm anyone or anything inside of the walls. Not even the mightiest of horses can smash through it. So remember the only true safety lies in big walls.
If you decide to build your own wall make sure it is big. A small wall will do nothing to stop those who want to pillage from you and rape your women. Also make sure it is a hard and sturdy wall. Rocks work very well for this.
If you decide to build your own wall make sure it is big. A small wall will do nothing to stop those who want to pillage from you and rape your women. Also make sure it is a hard and sturdy wall. Rocks work very well for this.
Bring back the right of the first night!
It is the duty of every serf to give up his wife's virginity to his lord or to whomever the lord designates her to go to.
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